beer me

Last night, when I was trying to go to sleep, I asked God to beer me strength.

And you know what?  He beered it!  He beered it up real good!

Good thing too, because today was Day 1 of daycare.  And...success! 

The drop off went much better than expected.  I know this may sound totally out of character for me, but I was running late this morning.  (I think the morning routine is going to take some getting used to.) But I think my tardiness actually paid off this time.  Since I was running late I didn't have too much time to dwell on my sadness.  I actually arrived to the daycare in plenty of time, it was then that I thought oh my God, how am I going to be able to do this?

Right about the time I thought I was going to lose it another mother came in to drop her infant off.  She said hello, dropped the baby gear, and said goodbye.  It was then that I thought I can do this!  So I did.  And work was so hectic that I didn't have too much time to think about it.  But, I have never been so excited to leave work in my whole life!

Work, on the other hand, was a showcase for my stupidity.  My goal for today was to not make an ass of myself.  It actually wasn't that bad, I was just seriously slow.  And if I can get personal for a minute, pumping at work sucks!  First I have to go to the pumping room, then pump, then put the milk away, and then put the pump away, etc., etc., etc.  Good thing I love this kid!!!

I gotta go stare at my kid now.  Maybe someone will beer me a burrito later!  Happy Monday peeps!

 

i have a child now...

...and this is hilarious!


Created by Oatmeal

happy hallmark day

Is it more cliche to say that I hate Valentine's Day or to state the obvious fact that this "holiday" madness was created by Hallmark?

Don't get me wrong.  I love Hallmark.  I have an irresistible urge to buy stationary and therefore Hallmark is like heaven to me.  Also, while I really truly hate Valentine's Day, I'll take any excuse to buy $8.99 cards from Papyrus and eat chocolate in a guilt-free, loving environment.

But really, since I feel that our relationship is the king of all relationships, I most certainly do not need an excuse to celebrate my love for my husband.  We celebrate on a daily basis by hugging and kissing and making each other laugh with vulgar humor!

Of course, since we have our Squirtbaby now, we have to spread our love around.  Good thing he's the cutest baby and we love loving him. 

Also, like mother, like son...it would appear that he too likes shopping for gorgeous cards at Papyrus because he got his daddy the cutest card!  (Although nothing can compare to his little Squirtsignature on my  most recent birthday card!)

Anyhoo, hope everyone is celebrating the holidays with someone they love.  And that you're eating and drinking and being merry!  (If you're drinking have a few for me, since my alcohol consumption is quite limited for the time being...which is a change from our usual Valentine's festivities!)

Here's a picture of my two favorite Valentines!

squirtchamp

I bet you thought I abandoned this blog.  Didn't you?  Well, you thought WRONG!

We were just away for a while having some good family fun.  We felt it was best to introduce the boy to all the family craziness at once.  Like ripping off a bandaid...just get it over with!

He actually did great.  He got passed around to all the grandmas and great-grandmas and aunts and uncles and neighbors.  Let me tell you, he was a trooper.  There were times he got a little cranky, but apparently when you're not his mom or dad that's easy to ignore.

The biggest milestone while we were away...he slept through the night...TWICE!  And I'm not talking about 10pm to 2am.  We had that nonsense down weeks ago.  No, I'm talking 9pm to 8am...TWICE!

What he's not yet smart enough to realize is that I'm onto him now.  I know he can do it now.  I will him to do it again every night when I put him to sleep.  Really it just means that I go crazy now when he wakes up at 2am (like he's been doing the last couple of nights).  Soon enough he'll realize that sleep is AWESOME!

Ok so, now onto other nonsense for those of you who are interested in such things.

We went for our two month checkup yesterday and the Squirtmonster was monsterific!  First of all, he's awesome.  Second of all, he's enormous...14.4lbs and over 25 inches long.

He only cried while he was actually getting his shots.  As soon as they were done poking him and I picked him up he was interested in the picture on the wall and not the pain in his leg.  He is a little under the weather now but come on, the little dude got like 10 vaccines!

So yeah, he was awesome.  Mama, on the other hand, was a total airhead (please keep your comments to yourself)!  

So when we got back from our trip I cleaned out the diaper bag because everyone we know has pets and I wanted to wash everything in the bag.  Good intentions, but what happened was that I ran out of the house with an empty diaper bag!  Awesome.

Luckily it had diapers in it.  But that was about it.  So when I got him undressed to weigh him he had the tiniest spot of poop on the leg of his onsie.  So I reached into the bag to get him another one and realized it was empty.

But never fear, I said to myself.  It's not a big deal and I'll just be really careful and make sure I get him a new diaper immediately and we'll be fine (because we had a long list of errands to run after that).  Then the tech asked if I had a blanket to keep him warm while we waited.  At this I had to admit my bad motherness and tell her no.  But again, no prob, they had an extra.

So after Squirt got poked and prodded and examined and sung to and fed I put all his clothes on him and got ready to go.  When I laid him down to put his socks on him it happened.  Sneak attack!  I didn't even see any poop on him, but it was all over the exam table.  

And I mean all over!

So here I am, in this sweltering exam room, freaking out.  What kind of mother am I?  It's -10 degrees outside and I'm going to have to take my child out to the car naked!!!!!

So I started to get him undressed, again, and I remembered that I had put a little, tiny, adorable hooded sweatshirt in the bag (because it was -10 degrees outside).  And as luck would have it, his pants were completely poop free. (Yes, poop all up his back, but none on his pants.  I try not to question it.)

At that point I thought, he's completely clothed, we're going out.  So my little man went to the mall looking like a playa in his hooded sweatshirt with no shirt on underneath.  When I texted George the picture of him he was like why is he not wearing a shirt?  I tried to explain, but it didn't translate well over text message.

Oh well, lesson learned!

I'm off now, to try to get some sleep and pray that the babe only wakes up once tonight!

He says: Yeah, I'm the king of this bed!