charades anyone?

Who likes Charades?  I've never really gotten into it but it seemed appropriate for this occasion.  (Warning: this might just be the most embarrassing picture I've ever taken of myself!)

 Is this:

a) a weight lifting belt

b) a torture device

c) a jock strap for your belly (as George stated when he picked it up off the floor)

d) a belly support band

So...this was given to me by a fellow preggo who just had her baby.  It's a belly support band (obviously).  All the girls at work swear by it so when I started getting really uncomfortable I thought I would give it a shot.  Turns out it's actually helpful but seriously the strangest looking contraption ever!

*****

Related...I got a request for a belly picture so here it is.  And yes, I am enormous!

This is us at 36 weeks and 5 days.  Last week I was ZERO cm dilated (yay).  However, I did learn the hard way that having your cervix checked is possibly the most uncomfortable experience ever.  That was a serious violation of my personal space!  Hopefully Squirt can hold out for just two more weeks and then we can all be one big happy family!!!

confusing times in the life of a pregnant woman

Did you know it's November 4th?  And did you know there are officially 32 days left until the predicted arrival of my Squirtbaby?  And did you know I'm freaking out?

So I've always wondered why mothers tell first-time-pregnant-ladies all the horror stories of labor.  I feel blessed that no one has felt the need to do this to me!  But, to be honest, I could care less about the horrible labor stories.  I figure, it's called labor for a reason!  I also have come to the realization that he's coming out one way or another so there's no need for me to dwell on it!

On the other hand, I didn't realize before that mothers also tell first-time-pregnant-ladies these vague stories of labor.  Which, I will tell you, are the worst!  I would much rather hear the painful stories about ripping and stitching and what have you, than hear about these phantom labor stories!  And to top it off, I heard like three vague labor stories in one day, and now....well now I'm freaking out.  

The first lady told me she woke up with a "feeling."  Yeah, I've never been pregnant before and I've got a lot of "feelings"... you're going to have to be more specific.  

The second lady told me that she thought she lost her (warning) mucous plug.  So I thought, ok, that's something I can look for.  Yeah, until I found out that not everyone knows they lost their mucous plug.  

Then the third lady told me that she had some GI upset (see how I was nice there and not too graphic!) and that it's an indication that labor will start shortly.  So now I've got some GI upset (sorry for the details) and am convinced that I could go into labor at any time!

The good news is that last Friday I was worried that I was going to go into labor...you know, because of these vague symptoms I was having...but I didn't.  So one week down, four more to go!  But in the meantime, poor George has to hear every other day about how some random fingernail pain means I'm having the baby in four hours!  Sorry honey!

To add to the stress, I have already convinced one teacher to let me take my final early.  I'm hoping that today I'll be able to convince the other one.  Which of course would mean that I got everything in order, so that I could be done with my semester early, and ready for my Squirtchild, and then he'll come seriously early and my planning will have all been for nothing.  (Yes, I've been told before that I am Type A.)

Basically, the moral of the story is that I'm worried and confused about pregnancy and labor.  Every time I have back pain or a headache or a general feeling of malaise I'm worried that the next day I'll go into labor.  Even worse, and feel free to laugh, I'm worried that I'll be in labor and not know it!  It sounds crazy but I'm just not quite sure what kinda "feeling" means you're in labor you idiot!

So think good, non-labor thoughts and maybe I'll stop freaking out!

a short pregnant lady list...plus, a poll

You know how you know you're almost ready to have a baby?

1. You are growing out of your maternity clothes.

Yeah, basically I've switched to an all legging wardrobe.  It's not exactly what I would call... attractive.  But it is what I would call necessary. 

Don't get me wrong, my maternity jeans still fit in the butt and legs (thank God!).  In fact their almost too big still (can I get a hallelujah!).  But where the denim meets the band... it definitely leaves a mark.

Last time I wore my maternity jeans they dug into my Squirtbelly so much that they left a mark for two days!  Way to make a fat pregnant lady feel good about herself!

2. You can't breathe in any position.

There is no position that is comfortable any more.  I used to be able to recline alittle and open those lungs right up.  Not anymore!

Basically, the only position that is comfortable is laying on my side on the couch.  That position is very good for watching TV...but not very good for studying.  Which is to say that I've been good-for-nothing!

 3. You have crazy dreams about labor.

Last week we went for a tour of the hospital.  That same night I had a dream I was in labor and was at the hospital, walking around, trying to progress, blah blah blah.  So after a while, I was starting to progress and finally I was like ok this is it!  For some reason George, my loving husband, was not with me.  But when I got back to my room, I opened the door and George was standing there holding our son and goes you missed it!  Goodness, talk about guilt, he's not even born yet.

So the moral of this story is that the countdown is on!  Only 6 weeks to go and we're finally getting closer to being ready! 

We did have success with the second crib, which made my uterus jump for joy!  And George said he felt much more like a dad after putting together the stroller!  Now we just have to install the car seat so that our little Squirtbaby can actually come home from the hospital!

 

And now for a Squirtnaval poll!

George is convinced that my belly button has popped! Needless to say I quickly corrected him and said it has indeed not popped!  This conversation has actually been going on for weeks now...even after we saw a woman whose belly button had actually popped and he still believes he is right!

So here is a seriously unflattering pictures of my belly button (our new camera is so fantastic that it is able to show every little peach fuzz hair on my baby bump and the exact pattern of my lovely dark baby bump line...I know, it's totally gross, don't judge).  Let me know what you think!

***I would just like to add that while I am a total blogslacker, I have been trying to post this for the past three days and Blogger was being a bitch!  So it's only partly my fault, and partly Blogger's fault (I know I'm blaming an inanimate object, but I was seriously trying!!!).

time sure is flying

Can you believe that tomorrow marks the start of week 34? 

Me niether!

Only 6 weeks to go.  Well, with any luck, 7 weeks to go.  George thinks I'm crazy but I'm hoping Squirt will listen.  Baby, Mama would like to focus on one stressor at a time, while she still has the opportunity.  Please wait until after Dec. 9 at 4pm!

We had an amazing weekend.   Saturday we went to a breastfeeding class.  I warned George that it may be a little too hippy for us but it was actually very interesting and informative.  Then we had to do a little shopping...at which point the belly aching started.  But we finished the night with some amazing dinner out and a little football at home!  (Yes, we're old.)

Today was another amazing baby shower.  My wonderful friends threw a great shower with even better food!  And since my main focus recently has been on food I would say it was a success!  No, I'm joking... everything was amazing and everyone is so generous and creative!  Thanks guys!

So I went to the Dr. last week, and everything looked good.  I feel like I'm getting so close...they look at me like you've got a while lady!  Yeah, so from now on I have to start going every two weeks.  Now...I'm not saying that I love having other women inspect my business but if they don't check me everytime then I just don't know what I have to do in there every other week.

DoctorOB did say that she thought the Squirtmonster was head down which is good.  But some one at work thought he looked like he'd dropped. I feel like that can't be a good sign but unfortunately I've got evidence that seems to show just that. Boo.

Ok so for once I'm going to keep this short because last week I spilled wine on the keyboard and now all the buttons are sticking (please note that I was just holding the wine...well maybe tasting the wine...but it wasn't actually my wine)!  No matter the situation, typing is starting to be a serious work out for my swollen pregnant lady fingers.

Here are some interesting photos to compare last week and this week!  Enjoy!

Week 32

Week 33

Note the "dropped" appearance...I hope it's just the angle!

FYI...our nursery is still not done due to technical difficulties. Once it's done we'll definately post some obnoxious/proud parent photos!

Peace!

varicosities, belly button fuzz, and other pregnancy ailments

Ok...so I'm just going to pretend that I didn't set myself up for failure, by promising to update my blog more.  Yeah, just forget about that!

For real, I had good intentions, but life has a tendency to get in the way of blogging!  However, after my lack of blogging was commented on by a certain blog stalker (you know who you are), I felt it time to get back to it!

So we're rockin' and rollin' over here, right on into week 32!  Can you even believe it!  I am now officially a mobile home (and yes, that refers to both my size and my purpose)! 

In the last week I have ballooned, or rather Squirt has ballooned!  I think he's supposed to be about 4 lbs now!  And it is unbundantly clear that he is outgrowing his current residence.  I no longer am getting this cute little Squirt kicks.  Nope, instead I can feel him twisting and turning as if he's trying to get comfortable.   Have you even woken up in the middle of the night because your significant other was elbowing you in the head?  That's what it feels like!  As in...it's not pleasant.

The other news is that my feet are in a constant swollen state at this point.  So much so that I'm sure my grandmother's feet probably look better than mine right now.  It's insane.  I know it's normal, but it doesn't make it any less uncomfortable...or embarrassing!

I will say (even though it will make me feel like my grandma, again, to complain first and then say how lucky I am) I've been pretty lucky overall (see!).  I know people who were sick for 9 months, or on bedrest, or being admitted to the hospital on an oddly regular basis for Braxton-Hicks contractions.  None of that over here, thank goodness (although I am tired and crabby and can't breathe)! 

My belly button is even in it's proper location!  Well, at least close to it's proper location.  I think it might be trying to pop now but so far I've been vigilant about pushing it back in!  And, while I normally am the Queen of all Belly Button Fuzz, this half outie situation has forced me to relinquish my crown, at least temporarily!

But really what I feel most lucky about is that I have no varicosities!  Because, (I'm sorry to say my childless friends) you can get them everywhere (as in everywhere)!  I won't terrify you with the details, I'll let the baby book do that for you!  But again, I have a friend who had some varicosities in some uncomfortable places and she was miserable for a long time!  So thank you Squirt for making me feel nothing but love for you!!!

Somewhat related, I also want to thank my family and friends, and George's family and friends for the wonderful baby showers I had last week!  All the aunties and grandmothers worked really hard to plan these showers and I am seriously grateful for that!  Everything was lovely, and everyone was so generous.  We feel so lucky!

Here's a look at a crazy pregnant woman at 32 weeks!

And here is a look at the things crazy pregnant ladies pass on to each other!  Don't worry, it only looks like it's from the 80's!

Alright well, I hope you're all finding pleasure in my pain!  I'm out!



week 29: attack of the hormones

Attention world: the second-trimester-honeymoon-phase is over!

Consider yourself warned.

Let me just tell you that at the beginning of this third trimester some horrible, imaginary, out-of-my-control switch was flipped and it is Hormone Central over here.  All kinds of hormones: good, bad, happy, sad, angry, hungry, frustrated, anxious...you name it, I've experienced it.  Translation: I'm freaking emotional!

It's awful.  I'm tired, overwhelmed, and irritated.  Everything is bothering me and the worst part is that I know it and yet, I can't control it.  Bad!  Bad hormones!  I've been on the verge of tears for like four days now but they just won't come.  I know I'll feel better after (unfortunately, that is a concept lost on the male species) but I can't do it.  Want to know why?  I don't have time!

Between work and school and growing a baby there is no time to breakdown.  There's plenty of things to make you want to breakdown but no time to actually do it!  (In addition to not breaking down, I've also not exercised, cleaned my house, eaten a healthy meal, or done a plethora of other essential baby preparation things.)

Damn this being an adult thing!

There is good news though!  I think...  We've just about decided on a daycare for Baby Squirt.  We don't have a name for said baby, but he will have a regular daytime appointment with 5-7 other babies!  Now it's on to the pediatrician.  See, I can just work on checking off one baby necessity at a time!

Also, I'm very excited for some family baby showers that are coming up.  I know everyone has been working hard on their plans and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate it and am looking forward to them!

Even better, I love my kid so much I can't even stand it!  I can't wait for him to get here!  Well...I can wait and I hope he waits because he needs to cook some more and Mama has a ton of stuff to do before then.

 

That being said, I was too impatient to wait for my wonderful husband to get home so I tried a self portrait.  It's good-not-great but will definately do the trick!

Ok I'm off to tackle some more homework!  Maybe next time I'll address the wonders of the pregnant navel!

week 28? already?

I've had a request for more frequent posts, so I'll give it my best.  But I can't make any promises...you know, what with school, work, oh and the fact that my life is boring!!!!  No, I'm kidding!  I actually would like to post more frequently so I think a little pressure might just do the trick!

So we are into week 28 and according to "What to Expect..." my child is the size of a head of cauliflower!  What the...?  Seriously?  I feel sorry for all the women across the country who are reading week 28 and thinking that their kid is spherical and lumpy!

What the book should say is, "it's week 28 and you now have a Ninja Fetus!"  I'm not even joking!  George about fell off the couch when he felt that!  It was like Squirt was practicing doing the speed bag on my uterus!  Unfortunately, as smart as my Squirt Ninja is, he can't seem to do it on command.  We will work on that over the next couple of weeks and hopefully he will be ready to perform at the upcoming baby showers!

So yeah, week 28 huh?  We're just moving right along aren't we?  Yeah, that means 12 weeks or so to go?  12 WEEKS PEOPLE!!!!  Sense the tone!  I'm freaking out right about now!  We have no furniture, we still have major things left off our registry, we haven't signed up for any classes, and there's something else...what was it...oh right!  My little bundle of Squirt is due on Dec. 6 and as of right now I have finals on Dec. 8 and Dec. 9!!! 

Serenity now!  Serenity now!

Goodness, maybe I need a time out!  Or maybe I should be reading instead of blogging!  That sounds more like it!  I'm sure everything will be fine.  According to my husband (you know, the one who's really smart and doesn't worry about anything), everything is going to be fine and my worrying isn't helping anyone.  While he may be right, it in no way is going to make me calm down!  If I could only convince Squirt to cook for an extra week then maybe my worrying would subside.  But I hear it doesn't work like that...oh well.

Alright, here is the week 28 masterpiece.

And, for anyone who for one second thought about telling me that I hardly look pregnant, here's an in-your-face shot of my massive body habitus.  There is no denying it now...I'm a house.  I feel like I need one of those red flags you attach to oversize loads sticking out of your trunk on the way home from Home Depot.

Ok mama needs to go to bed now because work comes early in the morning.  But I suppose I should read something first...or maybe review who is on my fantasy football team...hmmmmm.