mama: 1, parenting: 1,000,000. at least i got one!

Ok, I'm gonna ignore the fact that I haven't posted in, well, forever! And instead, I'm gonna tell you about this book I read!  Yeah, I am.

I've read a ton of parenting books, because guess what???  Parenting is stressful!  And I am type-A.  And I would prefer a step-by-step guide to parenting, instead of the each-child-is-different-do-what-feels-right guide to parenting.  Puke.

The most recent book I read was about sleep.  Ahhhhh sleep.  We have since mastered the nighttime sleeping, and I will take credit personally for that one.  That was all me, no books!  Psst, that was your cue to tell me how awesome I am.  Or even better, tell my husband how awesome I am.

Back to the topic now, I was recently perusing Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby.  And by perusing, I mean jumping about 20 pages at a time because I couldn't stand to hear the same thing over and over and over.  But then I finally got to the good part...

According to Dr. Weissbluth, there are two methods for putting your baby to bed at night.  Apparently, there are completely different methods for putting your baby down for daytime naps...of course, duh!  So these night time methods, which are creatively named Method A and Method B, were ha...wait for it...larious!

Method A: Let your baby cry-it-out so they can learn to self-soothe and have healthy sleep habits.

OR

Method B: Go to your baby when he cries and be the worst parent ever.

The book does make a point to mention that neither method is right or wrong.  Yeah right.

In Dr. Weissbluth's defense, the personal stories in the book were helpful, showing how parents moved from Method B to Method A.  We did that too and now our Squirtbaby is sleeping very soundly through the night.  And I didn't even need a book to tell me that!

Make a note:  One parenting success for me...and it only took 5 months...rock on!

Now...please try to ignore the fact that these pictures make my poor child's eyes look seriously caddy-wompass (haha)!

conversations with, I mean, about, breast pumps

The second day we came home from the hospital with Squirt a visiting nurse came to our house.  She was awesome, by the way, as nurses tend to be.  But my current point is that she helped me select the perfect breast shield for my breast pump.  And I've been having conversations with my breast pump ever since.

At first it was saying, LetDownLetDownLetDown.  Now that we have a more mature relationship (i.e. since I crank up the suction and therefore my pump is dying) it says, Let Doooowwwwn...Let Doooowwwwn...Let Doooowwwwn.  George and I laugh about this all the time but I figured we were just being a little sleep deprived! WRONG!  

At work today some of my new mama friends, Thelma and Louise (did you know those aren't their real names?), and I were having a good laugh at the secret language of the pump.  Thelma said her sister asked if her pump was talking to her yet.  She thought this was a strange question.  But me and Louise assured her that if it hadn't whispered in her ear yet, it would soon.  Interestingly enough, Louise's says different things to her.  Maybe there's a perfect pump out there for each lactating mama!

Somehow this reminded me of my dad.  He says funny things.  For instance, if I said "The other day I was talking to myself and...", he would say "Just as long as you're not answering yourself!"    It made me think...if my pump is talking to me, what does it mean if I start talking back to it? (That felt like a weird Carrie Bradshaw type moment, whatevs.)

And now...pictures of the boob-monster!

ayo, i'm tired of using technology

Did you notice my new blog banner?  You can't miss it...it's a giant picture of my kid's head!  I have created and recreated about 27 new blog banners.  And I'm still not satisfied.

Hence, I hate technology.  (Seriously, I'm sure my iPhone is good for more than the calendar and calculator functions, but I wouldn't really know about that now would I?  I can't even figure out iTunes, so...)

Anyway, I know what I want to do for my banner but I just can't seem to figure it out.  Although, I will cut myself a little slack.  I mean, if I had more time I'm sure I could get it.  But until then, I will keep making and remaking blog banners.

By the by, I feel eating pizza right now.

Also, did you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under two do not watch TV at all?  Like, AT. ALL?  As in, none.  Or, nada, if you will.

I'm not proposing that I plop my perfect son in front of the television for any period of time, but...it's baseball season, peeps.  There is no way that my SquirtSlugger is going to make it all the way to freaking October without watching a significant amount of baseball...George is making sure of that.

Unrelated, we're going to the pediatrician tomorrow for our four month check up.  George gave explicit instructions that I feed the SquirtBabe alot before we go so he can make weight!  When we went two weeks ago when he was sick, his weight was only in the 78th percentile, which is apparently unacceptable for the daddy in this house.  We'll have to see how that goes, hopefully he can bulk up by then!  Maybe I can convince him not to poop until we get back, that should add a bunch of weight!

baby got back

My baby's got back.  Yeah, we should just call him Sir Eats-a-lot.

Seriously, he will not stop eating.  It's been a very long, loud weekend with him getting cranky every 60-90 minutes.  Mama's exhausted from all this feeding, kiddo!  I mean I feel bad about it, he's eating more than I can make, but we're gonna have to come up with some sort of plan here Squirtbuddy!

In all seriousness, I think he's getting ready for another growth spurt.  We're going to the pediatrician in a few weeks so we'll get an official weight then.  According to the scale here at Fort Squirt he's about 16.5 lbs.  To put that in perspective, the oldest kid in his daycare class can walk and he's the same size as the Squirtdogg!

I mean, check out the cheeks on this kid!

In other Squirt news, he's getting so good at reaching and grabbing.  Unfortunately, that means he's getting really good at grabbing my hair...and he doesn't know "no"...but, we're working on that. 

In the last few days he's also gotten noticeably better at holding things.  Which means that at dinner the other night, Daddy gave him a knife to hold on to.  Apparently, that was a better choice than the fork that was also available! 

The Bumbo is also getting more use now.  Whereas before it was the Leaning Tower of Squirt, he now has much better control of his abs and back so he's sitting up a lot straighter!  I think he's going to be sitting up by himself soon.  I'm sure that will mean he no longer has any use for me, but good for him!

Finally, after taking a very scientific and official poll, it was determined that Squirt is very advanced for his age.  Here is the Mommy Evidence to prove it!

Don't be jealous...they can't all be Dr. McDrooly!

there's been a development

Wait...have I told you that I have the cutest baby ever?  Well, I do, so there!

In terms of the aforementioned development, it's a doozy!  After 13 and 2/7 weeks of my Squirtbaby looking like the spitting image of his mama, I think he has decided he's done with that.  The consensus seems to be indicating that Squirt The Great is now looking more like the man in his life, namely one George McDaddy!

How exciting is this!  I, for one, am pleased as punch!  While I have always wanted to know what I would look like if I were a man (sense the sarcasm), having a little manbaby that looks like my favorite husband is quite possibly the best thing ever!  In fact, it makes me feel pretty darn proud!  Since I clearly did all the baby work myself (poor me) I will now take credit for creating the most handsome little boy ever seen.

*****

Other updates this week include: 

- survival of our second week of daycare

- recovery from his first cold is going nicely

- turning over from back to front like it's his job

- baby sized efforts to grab at things

- and a possible giggle sighting!

Have a great weekend!  Pray for springtime!

there's a booger in the sugar, no it-snot

We're sick.  And by "we," I mean all of us.  And by all of us, I mean gross.

First Squirt got a cold.  Well, he got a cold that sounded like croup.  I mean, way to freak out a new mom.  I know that croup is actually nothing, but that barking cough will scary you for sure!

So my little Squirtman was actually doing quite well with his cold...probably from all the hugs and kisses from mommy and daddy.  You know...the hugs and kisses that then got us sick...way sicker than him.  Rock on!  

I haven't been sick like this for three years.  And George didn't go to work today for the first time ever!  We went to bed at 8:30 last night (I don't think I've gone to bed at 8:30 since 1989) hoping that a good night's rest would help us get over the hump.  Yeah, no.  We were both so sick we couldn't even sleep.  

Thank goodness we're feeling at least a little better today.  Hopefully that will mean work for both of us tomorrow.  Because I do not want to have to call in to work (for the first time) in my second week back!  That would just be poor form!

Here's a few pictures of the boy, after his post-blow-out bath (thanks Daddy, I was working...haha).  Hope you're week is off to a better start than ours!

(s)he said "gleeba"

No, Squirt is not talking.  Yes, that was a Friends reference.  Maybe, he will be a scientist.

The point is that Squirt is the smartest child alive!  Can you believe it?  Believe it!

At daycare this week I was super anxious (I know, it's so unlike me!).  I was worried he was eating too much and not sleeping enough.  Then, by the end of the week, I was worried that he wasn't eating enough and sleeping too much.  I know, classic new mom stuff.  But the highlight of my daycare week was picking him up yesterday and realizing that he had vastly increased his intellectual capacity in a matter of hours.

For instance...I saw him roll over from back to front for the first time!  George "claims" he saw him to it earlier in the week but I vote that if the mama doesn't see it, it doesn't count!  Also, he held onto his toys for the first time!  Like, with his little baby fingers! And, he grabbed his toes for the first time (also with his little fingers)!  Do you see, genius!

Unrelated, we got some baby pictures taken today; the budget friendly kind of course.  They turned out pretty good, obviously, since my baby is awesome!  We can't wait to get them and show everyone, so get excited!

Finally, I would like to thank my internet friend natthefatrat for introducing me to instagram on iPhone.  It is awesome and my new favorite way to waste time!  Have a good weekend friends!